It’s impossible for me to keep track of the number of times that I’ve walked away from confrontation. Choosing to do this is not because I’m weak, but rather because that choice can be made and the outcome of doing so ultimately makes me feel better than one of conflict. Feeling good is relatively simple to accomplish. Put what’s happening to you in perspective with what’s going on in the world around you. There are always individuals whose tests and hardships are more difficult than our own. Confrontation is always negative and hurtful.
Perhaps, we are having a trying day or there is an immediate situation of discomfort. Things are going to bother and aggravate us, but they are part of living. However, we can control the extent to which we are bothered and just how we choose to react to the negative stimulus. I like to look at the big picture. You know…the outcome that might be at the end of each negative event and situation. Is this the worst thing that has happened to me…ever? Is there something that can be done to make it less negative? What can be learned from this? Reflecting on the things that really are important in my life, or things that I enjoy, usually makes me feel immediately better. Sometimes, challenges help us grow or we discover something new about others or ourselves. I dealt with this almost intuitively as a child. Occasionally, as an adult, I need to remind myself of the benefits of this practice…it’s not always easy.
“Are you always in a good mood?” I’m frequently asked. Sometimes, it’s asked with sarcasm. Maybe it is thought that someone who always appears happy… must be putting it on! Rarely, if ever, is there a bad mood in me. I do sometimes get a bit blue or melancholy, but it is short lived. For me, being in a bad mood just takes too much energy and time. Also, everything that follows in that day is marked with negativity. My thoughts are more of why would you want to be in a bad mood, when it’s easier to be happy? A constant check and recheck of what’s really important in life and what’s not…helps me keep things in balance.
Although it still is important for me to please others and be appreciated, it is now equally important for me to be pleased with myself. If something doesn’t feel good mentally, physically, or emotionally… I try my best to let it go. Admittedly, I’m not always successful, but I make the effort of trying.