There is a moment suspended in time…when someone who has been abused or has a personal on-going challenge such as drug or alcohol dependency…realizes that no matter how difficult their own personal challenge/test might have been, or currently is, there is always someone who has had it worse… or is suffering more, right now. I found it empowering in my own healing. Many who suffer, do it with a quiet dignity and are role models for all of us to emulate.
A few years ago, Randy Pausch, a college professor in Pennsylania passed away from Cancer. His best selling book, The Last Lecture, is a lesson in dignity and grace. It is about embracing what we have been GIVEN in life, rather than focusing on what has been TAKEN from us. Whereas we are all aware that Childhood Abuse robs us of innocence and leaves gaping wounds in self-esteem and self-worth…we must also come to grips with the fact that when we are adolescents and adults, we are not terminally ill like Randy, but rather curable.
However, for some of us…it is easier to place blame on our personal misery and failure as to what has been “done to us.” Thought provoking would be to think on: Does doing this wallowing make us feel better. Has anyone ever felt better during the “Woe is me” trip…ever? I believe not. For myself, not feeling angry or sad towards my abuser(s) was the best medicine. For Randy Pausch not feeling angry or sad that he was terminal, and would soon die…allowed him to live every day until the end in full and complete joy.
Being happy is a gift we give to ourselves; it is yours if you unwrap it.